Yesterday was an ugly, surreal blur.
I was in the car most of the day, glued to NPR, who I have to thank for being the only news outlet to stay above the fray of speculation as things unfolded. Even now, there's an incredible amount of bad information still floating around about what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary on Friday.
But one thing we do know is that today, twenty-six families are waking up to unimaginable loss, and we, Connecticut, and the country are left grappling with unanswerable 'why's.
Was it mental illness? A domestic disturbance gone wrong? Selfish rage?
It doesn't matter. It only matters if we can use it to profile and prevent in the future.
I know that many of my friends in Connecticut are having an incredibly hard time with this tragedy---the horrific combination of the randomness, the timing, the closeness to home, the fact that these children were just babies a few years ago...I couldn't hold back tears after hearing President Obama's emotional speech and having the facts confirmed after Governor Malloy's statement. It's supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. It's not supposed to happen to innocents.
It's enough pain and devastation to drown you.
How to heal? I think I have found one way---
Do what you need to do: cry, call your family, hold a vigil, rage against failed systems, hug your children, pray, watch the news...but then---dry your tears, turn off the TV, and live your life.
Because I have to imagine that if those poor families had a choice, they would take one more normal, blessed day. They would make their families breakfast, walk their dog, hug their children, go to a Christmas party, enjoy this beautiful sunshiney Connecticut Saturday.
And that's what we should do. For me, after the vigils and prayers and tears have cleared, there is no better way to honor their memories than to continue to live LIFE, and to appreciate every precious second.